Whatever arises, Love that!

“The feedback was harsh, unconstructive and poised to be hurt-full” at the same time it offered a remarkable insight into my fellow-human being fears and frustrations. Indeed we all sometimes receive feedback that takes us by surprise and makes us doubt who we are and how we performed as a fellow human being a family member, a friend or as a colleague.
 
We all face sometimes difficult times in our life. Times where you feel pain, anger and fear.  It can be anger towards some-one else who you think mis-treated you. It can be caused by the fear of losing control of your life or fear of uncertainty. It can be simply that you are feeling alone and misunderstood. We all have times that we believe things are going the wrong way or that we are feeling stuck. We feel unhappy and frustrated. These difficult times and uncomfortable feelings are there for a reason. They lead us to where we need to go and into motion that was all along needed or very much necessary to happen.
There are many of us avoiding uncomfortable feelings and fears and we step into a trap. We become judgemental. We become that person that is always quick to judge others and telling them off. We have made it into an art finding “something wrong” with others. Even if the experience was overwhelmingly positive we then find something that proofs we are different or better. In this way we are always looking for a dis-perfection in the other, in a situation or even in ourselves. We become are our biggest critic, are often overwhelmed with anger and anxiety and we start looking for someone or a situation to let this anxiety surface.
Guess what,… we can never find perfection as perfection is a ever shifting target leading us into frustration, stress and tremendous levels of anxiety as we can never completely control the outcome of events. Life takes us sometimes for a ride and we have to simply hold on. Instead to focus on perfection, which entails a fixed image how things should be, we can choose here and now to change this. Instead we choose to focus on “loving-excellence”. Now that is a very different beast altogether as it is not fixed on a certain wished out-come nor on controlling a situation or other human being. Loving excellence focuses on doing the things you love doing and giving your best that you can be at that moment. We all experience moments that we might be tired or un-focused, still you can choose to give your very best that you can give. That might be at that time 75% and not 110%. Which is Ok. Allow this to sink in. We always believed only 110% is good enough.
When we get hit by others that blame you for their dis-comfort you can ask yourself one question; did I give my best at the time? When the answer is “Yes” then let the harsh, unconstructive and hurt-full feedback fall back to the place where it belongs; to the “blamer”. Then there is something to learn for the person who gave you the feedback as he or she is angry, scared and upset with something that they found in you and don’t want to face this themselves. 
I found that the happiest times in my life where the times when I was loving the work what I was doing and was loving the place I was in, learning about myself and giving back to others around me. I find that it is both healing and challenging for me to spend time with the youth of this beautiful area I live in. 
We all meet wonderful people, full of ideas, energy and love for each-other. People that are out there to make a difference, people that are ready to help-each other. People who are not focused on finding im-perfections in themselves or the others around them. Look out for them, they don't complain about others and they seldom talk about themselves and what they do. Whatever arises, they love that!